Monday, June 11, 2012

Take 5 with Zeus Caesar

Matt: A first today for our Crimsonstreak Tour 2012 Take 5 series...a bona fide supervillain. Zeus Caesar joins me on the blog guess we'll find out. Thank you for joining us today.

Zeus Caesar: Who is this "us" you speak of? Are there others listening in? Are they hidden? Have they powers?

Matt: It's a know what? Never mind. Thanks for joining me.

Zeus Caesar: Do you wish to take over the world? Do you wish me to join you in this bold endeavor?

Matt: (facepalm) Tell me about your upbringing. Where did you grow up?

Zeus Caesar: I was suckled by the gods themselves, raised up high on Olympus and privy to the glory and honor of the highest powers. With my mighty hammer I crushed all comers and became worthy of renown, forging mine own army of Legionnaires to sweep across this tainted sphere and restore the full glory of the Roman Empire.

[Editor's Note: Zeus Caesar was born Arthur Roman in 1973. He grew up in New York. This story about being "suckled by the gods" on "Olympus" is his usual delusional rambling. It is included for entertainment purposes only. Note how he mixes in some Nordic lunacy. To my knowledge, he never carried a hammer.]

Matt: That's quite a story. This Legionnaires Army...where did it come from?

Zeus Caesar: I was granted these charges by Olympus himself, who sent me an army of powerful warriors to crush the armies of this mortal realm and remake the Empire.

[Editor's Note: Here, Caesar refers to Olympus a god. It's a mountain. The "warriors" sent from Olympus were mostly disaffected extras from a Hollywood epic. Surprisingly, he actually did train them well for combat.]

Matt: Are you Greek or Roman?

Zeus Caesar: Yes.

Matt: I see. So, what's with the lightning?

Zeus Caesar: As the son of Zeus and Caesar, I command the heavens. I strike with the mighty roar of my forebears, unleashing energies of untold power.

[Editor's Note: Translation: he controls lightning. Again, he was born in New York. His parents were immigrants, although he seems to believe Zeus and Julius Caesar created him. He might mean this literally...but then again we are talking about Zeus Caesar. He's...unbalanced.]

Matt: What's going on up there? In your head?

Zeus Caesar: This question baffles me.

Matt: This interview baffles me. Let's say you kill someone in battle. What happens to them?

Zeus Caesar: (nods and smiled broadly) Yes, now I understand. I am afflicted with the souls of those whose lives I have taken. They continue to live within me, as if I am Charon guiding their souls across the river Styx. I fear they may never reach home.

Matt: That actually explains a few things.

Zeus Caesar: What things?

Matt: It's not important. Thank you for joining me.

Zeus Caesar: Cura ut valeas.

Matt: Read more about Zeus Caesar in I, Crimsonstreak, available in a variety of formats from these fine retailers:

Candlemark & Gleam Website
Amazon Paperback
Amazon Kindle Edition
Barnes & Noble
Barnes & Noble NOOK Book