After years of waiting, a new Star Wars movie arrived in December 2015. I saw it seven times in the theater, and one day Target will actually deliver my preorder of the Blu-ray.
So while I wait for that to arrive (Update: it FINALLY arrived on Friday), giving me the key to untold treasures in the special features, I thought I'd run down my 10 favorite moments from the seventh episode of the Star Wars saga.
10. "This will begin to make things right."
The great Max von Sydow delivers the movie's first line, giving gravitas to an important but brief role in the movie. I would call it a thankless role except for the fact that it's freaking Max von Sydow. He shares a brief exchange with Poe Dameron and comments on General Leia Organa: "General? To me, she's royalty."
And depending on what you believe, the first line of the film has an extra layer of meaning. "This will begin to make things right" certainly refers to his character's desire to bring balance to the Force. However, you can also read it as a promise from J.J. Abrams and company that this new Star Wars movie will "make things right" in terms of the poorly received prequel trilogy.
9. Kylo's rage
When kids throw a tantrum, they usually lie on the floor and kick their legs or hold their breath until they get their way. But that wouldn't be good enough for Kylo "Ben Solo" Ren, son of two of the galaxy's greatest heroes.
When confronted with bad news, the Darth Vader fanboy ignites his lightsaber and goes to town on the nearest wall. This happens twice in the movie, showing the villain's unhinged nature and poor control of his emotions.
8. "This is not how I thought this day was gonna go."
When Han Solo and Chewie find the Millennium Falcon ("Chewie, we're home" gets an honorable mention), they also encounter a pair of stowaways in Rey and Finn. Before long, they also confront another threat: a pair of intergalactic gangs fed up with Solo's swindling ways.
After some destructive beasts called rathtars get loose on their freighter, Han and company climb aboard the Falcon. And when one of the creatures tries to swallow the cockpit whole, Han admits he didn't see any of this coming.
7. Threepio ruins the moment
For a droid trained in etiquette and protocol, C-3PO sure doesn't have any manners, interrupting the touching reunion between Han and Leia. They haven't seen each other in who knows how long (definitely years, unclear how many), but before they can share a moment together, Threepio barges right in and ruins it.
But really, you've gotta love it as a Star Wars fan because it's pure, clueless Threepio, who's more concerned about pointing out his red arm than letting Han and Leia share a bittersweet moment. He finally gets a clue, however, and walks off.
6. "Who talks first? You talk first, I talk first?"
Need a spiritual successor with the swagger of Solo and the piloting skills of a Skywalker? You'll find him in Poe Dameron, an awesome addition to the Star Wars universe. Poe, sent to Jakku to retrieve a map that could lead to the missing Luke Skywalker, gets captured by the First Order.
When Kylo Ren confronts him, Poe doesn't look one bit scared. He's a little unsure about the protocol for questioning, however.
5. Back on the Falcon
One of the quieter moments in the film shows Han Solo in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, pausing for just a moment to reclaim his beloved ship.
The melancholy smile on his face tells you he's missed his baby and couldn't be happier to get her back.
4. BB-8's got your back
BB-8 is awesome. That is all.
3. The weapon of a Jedi/the Force awakens
After Kylo Ren defeats Finn in a lightsaber battle (Kylo was totally toying with Finn until the "traitorous" former Stormtrooper managed a lucky shot), the lightsaber of Anakin Skywalker sits tantalizingly in the snow. Kylo, obsessed with Darth Vader iconography, wants it so bad.
But a funny thing happens on the way to galactic domination: the lightsaber flies past his head and ends up in Rey's steady hand. When the music swells here and I realize I'm seeing the rise of a powerful Jedi, I get chills every time.
2. "That's not how the Force works!"
It's safe to say this is the exchange my wife and I have quoted the most. We even bought shirts that say "that's not how the Force works." It's just the perfect setup: Finn says he worked in sanitation at Starkiller Base, leaving Han to wonder how in the world they'll bring down the shield and preserve the Resistance.
Han: "People are counting on us. The galaxy is counting on us."
Finn: "Solo, we'll figure it out. We'll use the Force!"
Han: "That's not how the Force works!"
Chewie: [RAWR RAWR RAWR]
Han: "Oh, really? You're cold?"
1. Luke!
I stayed away from major spoilers for the movie, but I couldn't help but notice the absence of Luke Skywalker. He wasn't on the poster, he didn't have an action figure, and he was basically nowhere to be seen.
Then the opening crawl cleared things up: "Luke Skywalker has vanished."
I had no idea he'd end up being the film's MacGuffin! Luke is the Holy Grail or the Ark of the Covenant; the sought-after object that propels the plot. When Rey makes her way up "Stairmaster Island" (hat tip to my brother-in-law, Tom), she encounters a solitary figure at the edge of the cliff. Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is back!
Rey reaches out with the lightsaber that once belonged to Luke and his father. What's he feeling at that moment? Sadness? Grief? Loss? Regret? Hope? Love?
This post contains spoilers for Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice
I saw Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice on opening weekend, but I'm only now writing about it. By now the internet has dissected the movie far more adeptly than I could ever manage, but I still wanted to get my thoughts out there.
I thought it was a mess. From the editing to the dream sequences/visions to the whole reason for the Batman-Superman smackdown, I thought the movie failed on several levels. The high points weren't enough to keep the movie from collapsing under the weight of its dour nature and faux-complicated plot.
I'm a big fan of Man of Steel. I realize that's a dangerous opinion on the internet, but I liked that movie. It told a story--a hero's journey--and it told it well. We saw a Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman conflicted over his purpose in life. He didn't just show up at the Fortress of Solitude one day, find an outfit, and turn up a decade later as Superman, as Christopher Reeve's iconic version of the character did. They tried to humanize Superman with the pitfalls of a human being. I get why that didn't work for a lot of people, but it worked for me.
The reason it worked for me because I thought we were seeing a Superman in training. I thought we were seeing a guy who couldn't quite bear the weight of being a hero but who would one day stand tall. One day he'd inspire hope among the people of Earth. "You will give the people of Earth an ideal to strive towards. They will race behind you, they will stumble, they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun, Kal. In time, you will help them accomplish wonders," his father, Jor-El, tells him.
The hopes and dreams of his Kryptonian father are counterbalanced by the all-too-real concerns of Jonathan and Martha Kent, goodhearted Midwesterners who don't really know what to do with a son who has special gifts. They don't want him to show his powers because people fear what they don't understand. Jor-El speaks from an idealistic place; the Kents speak from a realistic one. When Clark saves a school bus full of kids and his father suggests maybe he shouldn't have, it's a reality check for everyone. He doesn't know what to do with his son, and that suggestion rings false from him. There's no way Jonathan Kent thinks that way, not really, but he wants to protect Clark.
In the end of Man of Steel--about the last five minutes or so--we see a hero who wandered for so many years finally find his place. We saw hints of the wink-wink, nudge-nudge nature of the Clark Kent-wears-glasses-Superman-doesn't charade we're familiar with. You got the idea that Clark Kent was ready to embrace his role as Superman and balance the well-intentioned but divergent philosophies of his two families. Superman represents the Kryptonian in him, that ideal to make the world a better place. Clark Kent represents the everyday Midwesterner who can make a difference without bringing attention to himself.
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice throws every bit of that character development out the window. We see a Superman who hasn't, in fact, found his way. We meet a character who hasn't developed at all. He's a sulking, conflicted dispenser of vengeance instead of a hopeful beacon of light. Even the fallout from the Battle of Metropolis and the destruction it caused gets only lip service in the movie, replaced by tacked on debates about a mission in Africa and a plot involving a disgruntled man injured in the Superman-General Zod fight who eventually blows himself up and kills several people in the process.
Even the main thrust of the movie, the conflict between Superman and Batman, makes very little sense. Let's pretend for a moment that the writers and producers of the movie remembered the character arc they sketched in Man of Steel. The movie would've presented a Superman who actively cared about humanity and didn't feel so isolated. Maybe he wouldn't be saving kittens from trees, but he'd do random acts of kindness and take joy in it. He'd still realize he couldn't save everyone, but he'd put his best foot forward and prove that the world really does need a Superman.
If we had that Superman in this movie, the showdown between the two heroes would hold up to scrutiny. Let me make this clear: Batman/Bruce Wayne's viewpoint is very well represented. It makes sense as presented in the movie. Bruce Wayne watched people he cared about die; he saw Superman and Zod tear apart Metropolis and neighboring Gotham City. This Batman, older, cynical, jaded, views the newcomer as a threat. His paranoia makes sense. You understand why Batman would consider Superman a threat and try to take him down. No complaints there--Batman's ire against Superman is earned.
This battle should've been a philosophical one: the brighter, inspiring heroics of a Superman who found his way in the world versus the violent, dark methodology of the Caped Crusader. Two opposing worldviews, two opposing forces. Superman a brighter reflection of Batman; Batman a dark harbinger of what Superman's powers could become if warped. The conflict wouldn't need an external agitator in Lex Luthor because it would foster a natural rivalry.
But the movie isn't interested in setting up something that makes sense or with true stakes.
Instead, BvS gives us a Superman and Batman who aren't all that much different. They're basically the same person, one just a little older and angrier. They're both dour, dark, conflicted men with deeply rooted personal issues and warped senses of justice. As such, the conflict between them isn't all that interesting, and the movie contrives a plot from Lex Luthor to make it all happen. The movie would have you believe that Mark Zuckerberg slowly drove Bruce Wayne insane with notes about the dangers of Superman and also fed information to Clark Kent suggesting the Batman was out of control.
Luthor, manipulative? Sure, no problem. If the contrasts between the two heroes had been more pronounced, this could have even been interesting. But that subtle manipulation is undercut by the movie's decision to have Luthor kidnap Lois Lane and Martha Kent. Kill the Bat, or Martha dies, Lex basically says. Thus, Superman doesn't fight Batman because he wants to or because their conflicting worldviews finally come to blows in a satisfying way. They fight because Lex Luthor kidnapped Superman's mom.
I can't state enough how much of a misstep and missed opportunity this was. The movie didn't even need Luthor, not really, but I understand the desire to work him into the plot. I just don't understand his ultimate endgame here or what the hell Jesse Eisenberg was trying to do with the role. Luthor feels superfluous and tacked on. Even his proclamations at the end of the movie that clearly hint at the arrival of Darkseid end up unsatisfying.
And then, hey, let's just throw Doomsday in there and kickstart the Death of Superman storyline.
And then, hey, let's just throw in Wonder Woman (although she was awesome and that music)!
This movie disappointed me more than I could have ever imagined. Zack Snyder and company had all of the ingredients in place for a movie that had a cohesive emotional core. We should've been having a 9/11 panel-type commission on Superman and the Battle of Metropolis instead of some silly debate about a random incident in Africa. We should've had an immovable object versus an irresistible force instead of the "by the way, I know who you are and kidnapped your mom" conflict we're treated to. We should've had a Superman confident in his abilities and role in the world--you know, the Superman hinted at during the conclusion of Man of Steel.
Snyder says there's a three-hour cut of the movie that he wanted the studio to release, but the studio balked at the running time. I think a solid 45 minutes of this movie could've been cut; I can't imagine three hours of it, unless that three-hour cut has tons of character moments that are lacking in the theatrical version.
Oh, and that one trailer with Doomsday totally outlined the plot of the movie. Seriously, WB, that trailer left me with exactly one surprise in the film: Superman's death.
But despite the disappointment I outlined above, there were a few things I liked:
Ben Affleck worked great as Batman, and that warehouse fight scene was phenomenal
I really enjoyed Wonder Woman
Despite everyone's collective hatred of him, I believe Henry Cavill is a good Superman; I feel that in an "I super believe in you Tad Cooper" kind of way
We need to see more of Jeremy Irons and his snarky Alfred
The "Knightmare" was a sumptuous visual treat
I found the use of the Man of Steel theme inspiring at all times
Once, long ago, I posted on the internet as Studicus, an in-joke nickname related to a skit from high school. When I first started blogging, I called my year-end entries "Studicus Selects." The tradition has continued since 2005...although I skipped 2006 for some unknown reason.
You'll find past entries here (scroll down for the 2015 picks):
Most surprising movie, Marvel Cinematic Universe category. Everyone knew Avengers Age of Ultron would be one of the summer's big movies. I enjoyed it, although it wasn't nearly as fun as the first Avengers flick because we had to inject way too much Joss Whedon-angsty stuff into the movie.
What I didn't expect was how much I enjoyed Ant-Man. It reminded me a lot of the first Iron Man movie in the way it was constructed. Plus, it may be the most humorous of all the MCU movies. Every once in a while, it's nice to have a superhero movie where the stakes are huge for a single character but don't hinge on whether or not the world will get destroyed. I highly recommend it.
It also gave us this bonkers promotional video:
The can of Pam is for scale
Largest jar of peanut butter I've ever seen, big jar peanut butter category. My father retired this year and now enjoys the slow-paced life of a retiree with three grandchildren who live less than 30 seconds away. Dad ate a lot of peanut butter sandwiches at work, and his coworkers certainly noticed. Upon his retirement, one of them gifted him this large jar of Peter Pan peanut butter. I imagine this lasted about two weeks, tops.
Best family outing, retirement category. Not only did my father retire in September, my mother retired in June. That meant the Adams family (if you hum the theme song, I will Kylo Ren you) took a trip to celebrate the occasion. My brother and I bought tickets to see the Cincinnati Reds play the St. Louis Cardinals at Great American Ball Park. We got some bonus baseball: the previous night's game couldn't be completed, so they played the rest of it before our game started. The "second" game commemorated Pete Rose night, and we all got Pete Rose bobbleheads. We don't get to do much as a family these days, so it was nice for Mom, Dad, Greg, and I to have a throwback weekend together at the ballpark.
This was definitely one of our most memorable family trips...and the only one involving a group selfie
The Pete Rose bobblehead was indeed buckled in for the trip back to Indy
Most satisfying movie experience, space opera category. "There has been an awakening...have you felt it?" Star Wars is back (as if it ever really left us in the first place). Star Wars: The Force Awakens was by far the most satisfying movie experience of the year. Not only did we get a lot of high quality Han Solo and Chewbacca action, the new characters were great, the movie had a ton of heart, and it's probably the funniest Star Wars movie out there.
Seeing the old gang back on the big screen was an emotional experience for me, as I've always been a huge fan of the original trilogy. I even saw each of the prequel movies multiple times. At one point in my life, I owned all of the action figures from the "Power of the Force" line and had read each and every one of the expanded universe books. After college, I cooled on those things a little bit, but the new movie has really reignited my love for the franchise. I think The Force Awakens deserves its own post one of these days. Maybe I'll write one after I see it...again.
Best website inventory stalking moment, Star Wars: The Force Awakens toy category. Two new Star Wars characters caught my attention when the new toys were released earlier this year: Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma. I thought both looked cool, so I wanted to get their action figures. This proved to be a pretty daunting task. I think everyone wanted these two characters.
"X" never marks the spot, but the Target inventory website doesn't lie
I couldn't find them anywhere; at one point, Kylo Ren and Captain Phasma were going for $60 bucks each on Amazon! I stalked the online inventories of Indianapolis-area Walmart, Kmart, Target, and Toys R Us stores to see if anyone had them in stock. No dice. Both figures were always "out of stock." Then, one magical day, I checked the Target website and Kylo Ren was in stock at one of the Target stores in Greenwood. I happened to be on vacation that week and went to retrieve them. I found two of each figure there and bought the other set for one of my friends, who was just as excited after scouring Chicago-area stores for them.
Sometimes a treasure hunt is REALLY exciting.
Is this an Xbox One or a cardboard box filled with a lack of productivity?
Most self-indulgent Christmas gift, home entertainment category. I wasn't sure I would hop into the "next gen" of videogame systems. My Xbox 360 has been collecting dust upstairs ever since the summer, and I felt the Xbox One was overpriced when it was first released. Then, the Microsoft Store offered a killer deal for the holidays: they slashed $50 off their console bundles, threw in a free game, and offered a $60 store credit for anyone who bought the system. I thought the deal was too good to pass up, so I talked it over with my wife and decided to go for it.
I'm glad I did. The Xbox One is a great system. I bought the Tomb Raider bundle, which came with both Tomb Raider games. The system also came with Assassin's Creed Unity. I used the store credit to buy Batman: Arkham Knight and Lego Batman 3. I ended up getting some gift cards for Best Buy, where I bought an extra controller, a charging station, and a media remote. Basically, the Xbox will replace the Roku since it has most of the same apps. This year, they're also supposed to add DVR functionality for over-the-air TV, which will be great since finding a good OTA DVR is challenging.
So far, I've played through the first Tomb Raider game, and it's fun to be back in the world of gaming. Now I'll have to juggle that with writing.
They mock me every time I write. Every. Stinking. Time.
Writing year in review, still nothing new published category. I was pretty darn productive in 2015! I wrote four novels: two of them in a superhero series I started a couple years ago, one about a drug that extends a person's lifespan, and a young adult fantasy novel about a vaguely medieval world filled with magic and unicorns. If you check out my Twitter stream (you don't tweet enough, @statomatty), you'll see a pretty consistent tally of word counts. When I'm on a project, I'll often write six or seven days during the week. I took a break in November because I needed to go back and polish some of my existing work instead of starting something shiny and new. In addition, I spent some time submitting work. I got a few bites on one of my projects, but nothing came of it.
I do need to get back to writing on a consistent basis. If I hadn't stopped in November to do some revisions, I'd probably have written a fifth book in 2015. I will get back at it in 2016.
Strangest obsession, it's clearly a cult category. The HBO documentary Going Clear absolutely captivated me. I'd heard of Scientology before, but I didn't quite grasp how nutso the whole thing was. After watching the HBO doc about the "religion" (ahem) created by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard (LRH!), I couldn't get the whole concept out of my mind. I read the book that served as the basis for the documentary and got sucked into the internet rabbit hole that is Scientology. The whole thing is unbelievable.
See, most religions tell you the creation story right away. It's kind of the first thing you learn about. In Christianity, you pretty much start with Genesis and go from there. God created the Earth, you know? Well, in Scientology, they hold the origin story from you until you reach a certain level. After you spend thousands upon thousands of dollars and endure countless "audits," you learn the "creation" myth of Scientology, which involves an intergalactic warlord named Xenu. I won't get into it, but this Wikipedia page has a nice summary if you feel like gouging your eyes out.
We love Walt, but Henry Standing Bear is our favorite character
Most surprising Netflix addiction, Matt and Anne category. Anne and I fell in love with the TV show Longmire. We binge-watched the series in just a few weeks. No one was more excited that Netflix was going to produce a fourth season than the two of us. When it was released, we couldn't wait to blow through the new episodes. Netflix picked up the show for a fifth season, and you can bet we'll watch it when it comes out.
I'll also make an honorable mention with Halt and Catch Fire. Anne's in love with Lee Pace, so that's pretty much why we started watching it. Turns out, it was a great show. Another really good one: Turn. We liked both of these shows enough that we bought season passes for their second seasons because we couldn't wait for them to make it to Netflix.
Depressing sports news, Colts and Reds category. We said goodbye to Reggie Wayne this year, and he briefly toyed with the idea of joining the Patriots. After seeing the team overpay for Andre Johnson, you wonder why they just didn't keep Reggie around. So that was depressing.
Also depressing: a season that reminded me of such quarterbacking luminaries as Kerwin Bell, Paul Justin, Kelly Holcomb, Kerry Collins, Curtis Painter, and Dan Orlovsky. The Colts let their star, Andrew Luck, get pummeled and miss half of the season. Then his 40-year-old backup, Matt Hasselbeck, got pummeled. His backup, Charlie Whitehurst, strained his hamstring and ended up on injured reserve. The team with (delusional) "Super Bowl aspirations" instead ended up as a complete disappointment. I think Jeff George is starting Week 17 against the Titans. That guy's always waiting by the phone, you know? They still have a chance of making the playoffs, but I think it involves a few teams winning and a human sacrifice or something.
And then you have the Cincinnati Reds. A few years ago, they had this great core group of players. Now, they're just terrible. They traded fan favorite Todd Frazier in a move that makes me sick to my stomach. The team is trying to move Brandon Phillips as well, also making me sick to my stomach. Closer Aroldis Chapman got shipped to the New York Yankees. I'll miss the flames on the tall stacks for his 103-mph fastball, although losing him isn't the gut punch of the other two. Basically, the Reds are a mess. I'm sure they couldn't afford Frazier once his contract was up, but you hate to lose a player you brought up through your farm system and who became a fan favorite.
Best YouTube discovery, uproariously funny anti-highlights category. The 2014-2015 New York Knicks "highlights" video is a thing of beauty. Set to "One Shining Moment," it shows the "best" of a terrible basketball team. I laugh until I cry every time.
Seriously. Just watch it:
Most ambitious undertaking, home media server category. I watch a lot of Seinfeld. I have the complete series on DVD, but I HATE flipping through and switching discs and hunting for certain episodes. I solved that problem by digitizing all the episodes and putting them on a Plex media server. Now, I can use the remote to find the episode that I want. Anne and I watch "The Chicken Roaster" episode way too much.
Very few products actually change your life. Plex changed mine.
After that, I went completely bonkers and digitized my entire DVD collection. Every movie I own is now available on Plex and accessible at the touch of a button. I've streamed a lot of my movies on the Roku, though the Xbox One will probably do the heavy lifting from here on out. The only drawback: I don't have a Blu-ray drive for my PC, so I can't digitize my Blu-ray discs. Still, a small sacrifice for a great user experience.
Best dates, married couple category. Anne and I had our share of great times this year, but a few definitely stick out. In January, I took Anne to see Disney on Ice. She's seen it before, but this time I went with her. She wore a tiara and everything, just like all the little girls who were there with their parents.
Princess Anne, everyone
During a vacation in March, we visited the new Giordano's on the north side. We've been to the one in Chicago a couple times, and we really enjoyed the one in Indy. Actually we need to go back, come to think of it!
In December, we went to see A Christmas Carol at Beef and Boards. I love that show! My favorite version is the one that aired on TNT in the 90s with Patrick Stewart (Anne gave me that on DVD this year!). The Beef and Boards production was pretty great, though, and it came with a dinner buffet. Carved roast beef for the win!
And of course, we also saw Star Wars in a packed theater in Greenwood, and that was a lot of fun. I especially enjoyed the postgame discussion at the Oaken Barrel.
Best meme, requested by Anne category. We are devoted Game of Thrones fans, and we were devastated by what happened to Jon Snow. I made an off-the-cuff remark after the episode: "You know nothing, Jon Snow"/"I know I got stabbed like 75 times." Anne demanded that I make it into a meme, and so I did.
