Friday, September 30, 2022

Meet the Characters: Swearin' Sammy Reed

Sega CD Summer is out! This is the third entry in my Meet the Characters Series

Sega CD Summer's version of Williamsburg, Indiana, has its share of characters--and some of those characters are absolutely certifiable.

Let's start with Swearin' Sammy Reed, Tommy Guggenbiller's explosive baseball coach.

Swearin' Sammy isn't afraid of anyone--and he's not afraid to yell at everyone. He's coached youth league for years and has become somewhat of a legend in local youth baseball circles. While coaching together, he and Tommy's dad have won championships on every level.

Brash and opinionated with a tripwire temper, Swearin' Sammy is the bane of volunteer umpires everywhere. He has little tolerance for losing or poor Marty Hoover, an above-average player who raises his ire no matter what. If it were up to Swearin' Sammy, Jimmy Effin' Jefferson would never play another game of baseball.

In his eyes, every player is capable of screwing up except for his son, Donny, his best pitcher, hitter, and player. Umpires get an earful when Donny misses the corner or gets called out on strikes. He's more CEO than coach, as he defers most baseball decisions to Terry Guggenbiller. He's almost always ready to have a cigarette, although he warns his players never to start smoking.

He doles out important baseball advice like, "You're ten times bigger than that ball! That ball can't hurt you!" When the team is in trouble, he reassures everyone by saying, "Ain't nobody hurt. Ain't nobody hurt!" 

But Swearin' Sammy gets his nickname from his proclivity for colorful language. He's fond of saying GAAAAAAHD-dammit and its cousin, GAAAAAAHD-damn, phrases he utters more than a dozen times throughout the book (that's according to Microsoft Word). 

It's important to remember, though, that for all his shortcomings and explosive anger issues (not to mention his ever-present pack of Winstons), Swearin' Sammy has a heart of gold.