Superhero Etiquette

If there's anything that excites me about I, Crimsonstreak, it's that people will get to meet the esteemed Mortimer P. Willoughby, manservant for the Kensington family and aide-de-camp for the Crusading Comet. He is my absolute favorite character to write. Mortimer (or as Crimsonstreak calls him, "Morty") is a British butler, Alfred to the Crusading Comet's Batman, although Mortimer is sometimes a bit less...helpful.

He also happens to be an accomplished smart aleck. Morty and Crimsonstreak have an adversarial relationship that isn't explained in the book. It doesn't need to be; they just have a Jerry Seinfeld/Newman ("Hello, Newman"/"Hello, Jerry") rivalry.

After delving deep into the archives of the Crimsonstreak universe, we unearthed a copy of Mortimer P. Willoughby's Guide to Superhero Etiquette (12th Edition). If you order early, you'll be able to read the butler's important advice on how "proper" superheroes are supposed to act. We live in a civilized society, people!

On changing into a superhero uniform in public:

Alleyways, phone booths, taxicabs, revolving doors, limousines, and public restrooms shouldn’t be considered. Seek less obvious places such as utility closets, abandoned buildings, rooftops (if accessible), and parking garages to protect your identity and observe the proper rules of decency.

On gentlemen and spandex:

Gentlemen should wear suitable fabrics that accentuate their musculature...Particular attention must be paid to the area just below the waist. It is here that “too tight” can become an embarrassment for certain heroes.

On women and uniforms:

An understated elegance is suggested, but forethought should be given to utility and public perception...Showing too much leg or plunges of décolleté has little to do with saving the world.

On the Supervillain monologue:

In cases in which you have foiled the villain’s nefarious plot and the safety of the world is assured, etiquette calls for you to listen to the Supervillain Monologue for at least one minute. After allowing the villain to feel that he or she has won the day, you may then apprehend them or initiate Final Fight protocols.

On receiving an invitation to another hero's secret lair:

Acceptable excuses include unanticipated deaths or funerals (close family members, sidekicks), important pre-planned events that cannot be moved (family weddings, pre-coordinated takedowns of underworld warlords), sudden crises (nuclear plots of urgency, captured colleagues), and detainment (by authorities or your enemy).

Sporting events, family reunions, social gatherings, and other minutiae are not acceptable excuses.

On White House etiquette:

If the President speaks directly to you, address him or her as “Mr. President” or “Madame President.” In prolonged conversation, you may alternate “Mr./Madame President” and “Sir/Madame.” Do not shake the President’s hand unless he or she offers it first. Please be mindful of sharp gauntlets and secret weapon switches.

On the ever-important super-secret drop box:

Many heroes do not have their own home address and sending an invitation to their secret identity (if known) could inadvertently reveal that identity to others. Thus, it is recommended that heroes keep a special “drop box” in their city for emergency correspondence and dinner invitations.

On receiving help from other heroes and the police:

It is common courtesy to send a prompt thank-you note to police and other superheroes for their assistance. Fruit baskets are the standard gift of gratitude.

On utilizing superpowers and gadgets:

It is imperative that you use your powers wisely. Be especially mindful of nearby civilians, low-hanging and unsteady structures, and historic buildings.

On handling TV interviews:

During most interviews, you should look at the reporter who is asking the question and not directly into the camera. However, if you need to speak directly to the viewing audience (“That, children, is why you should never play with matches”), looking into the camera is perfectly acceptable.

On making invitations to a superhero formal dinner:

Superheroes are encouraged to print their invitations on cardstock matching their superhero colors. Cream or white cardstock is still perfectly acceptable.

You can get Mortimer P. Willoughby's Guide to Superhero Etiquette (12th Edition) by pre-ordering I, Crimsonstreak here.

I, Crimsonstreak: The Technology

In addition to beloved superhero gadgets, the characters in the I, Crimsonstreak universe employ a variety of technological tools. A quick look follows.

Particle Busters: The particle buster is the primary weapon of the New World Common Wealth's Enforcer Corps. It's basically a nightstick with the properties of an "amped-up cattle prod." You don't want to be on the wrong end of one of these, although if you are, you'd better hope it's blue. Remember: "Blue means subdue, red means dead." I should've used that in the book.

Comet Acclerator: The Crusading Comet possesses no superpowers other than his extremely large bank account. In order to level the playing field with heroes capable of flight, super-speed, and teleportation, he designed the "Comet Accelerator." Unfortunately, it's an energy hog and a one-way journey, although the Comet hopes he'll be able to work out the kinks.

Containment Fields: When heroes are imprisoned, their superpowers are negated by a field of green energy designed by Colonel Chaos himself. These suppress powers, but their energy drain forces guards at places like the Clermont Institution for the Criminally Insane to reserve them only for the most dangerous villains.

Cloning Chambers: Imagine a room full of life-size versions of those canisters you send to tellers in the bank drive thru. Now fill those with a nondescript "goo," line 'em up by the dozens, and place yourself inside. Congratulations! Now you're staring at your own clone!

Bluetooth for Your Brain: The New World Common Wealth has significantly changed the way the internet works. Though not thoroughly detailed in the book, our hero does access a device dubbed "Bluetooth for your brain" that gives him pertinent information with a single thought.

Enforcer Armor: The Enforcers of the New World Common Wealth wear matte-gray armor of the fairly generic, sci-fi movie variety. It's the kind of thing you'd see in Starship Troopers or Halo or any other movie/video game that involves futuristic soldiers and/or space marines.

Rocket Boots: We only see these in action once, but Crimsonstreak's love interest is a hero named Boost. She has the natural ability of flight, but wears rocket boots to enhance her powers. These boots, you see, are made for flyin'. Are you ready, boots?

BACK TO CRIMSONSTREAK CENTRAL!

Five Favorite Science Fiction Tropes

I, Crimsonstreak doesn't only pay tribute to classic comic book tropes. Science fiction and fantasy books and movies have also played a large role in its development.

Here are five common science fiction concepts you'll find in the Crimsonstreak universe.

Cloning: From Judge Dredd to Star Wars, Star Trek, Jurassic Park, and many others, cloning is a time-honored tradition in science fiction. In the book, Colonel Chaos has attempted to make a clone of his dearly departed wife, although something is perpetually "off" about the process. He's also cloned his son with similarly mixed results.

Multiverse: The book operates under the belief that multiple realities/alternate universes exist. The concept has been featured in many different science fiction venues. The multiverse theory typically means that multiple realities exist simultaneously, while alternate realities are usually triggered by a single "change" within a timeline. The Matrix, Inception, Star Trek, Sliders, and even It's a Wonderful Life incorporate this idea.

Superhuman powers: A human isn't simply a human. Some of us have extraordinary powers granted by genetics or (sometimes) magic. Obviously, this idea is the basis for many comic book/superhero stories. Science fiction/fantasy characters often display unique gifts ranging from telekinesis to teleportation, flight, shape-shifting, and the ability to manipulate elements. Most of these abilities (and many more) are exhibited by characters in the book.

Aliens: Extraterrestrials. Visitors from beyond. Aliens. Alf. Whatever you call them, the belief that humanity isn't alone in the universe drives a lot of science fiction stories. In I, Crimsonstreak, earth has been visited and nearly subjugated by an alien species called the Kiltechs. Colonel Chaos managed to defeat them, but I imagine an alien threat like that won't stay dormant for long...

Dystopia: From Brave New World to 1984 and even The Hunger Games, science fiction often imagines a bleak future for humanity when catastrophic events warp the globe or sinister world governments take control. When Crimsonstreak escapes from the Clermont Institution for the Criminally Insane, he finds democracy supplanted by the New World Common Wealth, a "utopian" society controlled by his father and tightly controlled by menacing Enforcers.