Ranking the Summer Movies

I'm a quasi-movie buff. I love going to the theater even though it's absurdly expensive. During the summer, my wife and I see most of the big ones. So today, I'm ranking the summer movies.

Keep in mind I haven't seen EVERYTHING out this summer, but I have seen most of the blockbusters. We'll start with my least favorite and end with my top flick of the summer. Overall, I liked something about each movie I went to see.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon: I loved the first Transformers movie. Once Optimus Prime spoke, I was hooked. It was a fun movie. The second one...well...let's just say it was an acquired taste. The third movie was enjoyable, but I felt like I'd seen it before. Jumpy, jittery Sam Witwicky. Noble, heroic Prime and Bumblebee. Scene-chewing, abrasive Agent Simmons. Nonsensical, overly-complicated "plot." Explosions. Transformations. Too much going on at one time. Like Revenge of the Fallen, the final battle scene was confusing. Still not a bad way to spend an afternoon, however.

Cowboys & Aliens: I saw this one Friday night. You know, it was actually a lot of fun. They managed to play this one straight and Harrison Ford got all the good lines. I'm not sure if audiences will embrace it because it's such a strange departure from anything else. For the most part, it's a straight-up western with fantastical elements. Still trying to figure out how I felt about this one.

Green Lantern: This movie made a lot of "worst of" lists for the summer. I can definitely see why. Really, GL is a mess. However, the film has an earnestness that I felt saved it...and Ryan Reynolds did a good job with it. I also enjoyed the scope of the special effects and admired the attempt to widen the scope of our recent superhero movies. Ultimately, the numbers don't lie--Green Lantern was a major flop financially. A few script tweaks and it could've soared.

X-Men: First Class: From a quality standpoint, this one should probably rate higher. Through and through, it's a well-made film. The acting is good, most of the effects are good. There's nothing "technically" wrong with it. However, it just didn't quite "click" for me. Kevin Bacon wasn't a very good villain, and the "first class" mutants were a bunch of nobodies. Hugh Jackman had a great cameo and the Xavier/Magneto dynamic worked extremely well.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II: There was no camping in this movie. Part I was two hours and 15 minutes, but felt like three and a half hours. Part II was the same length, but felt much shorter. This was a tighter movie with a lot of payoff for Potter fans. I've never read the books and am acquainted primarily with J.K. Rowling's world through the movies. I thought it was very effective, even though I understand a good deal was cut from the books. My wife loved it--she's the Harry Potter fanatic--and that's good enough for me.

Thor: I wanted to get around to seeing this one again, but never did. Thor had the Iron Man vibe the second Iron Man movie lacked. On the other hand, it also had that "let's cram in another Avengers reference because we have to" vibe that weakened Iron Man 2. A strong supporting cast, nice moments of humor, and a good performance from Chris Hemsworth made it all work. I could see where this one would be hard to swallow for a lot of moviegoers. The whole Asgard thing seems so different from the Iron Man/Incredible Hulk worlds previously introduced in the Marvel Universe. I bet it seemed less "grounded" for many folks.

Captain America: I can't begin to tell you how much I loved Cap. He's always been one of my favorite characters and this movie did him justice. Great villain, great story, great atmosphere...I thought they nailed it on this one. From the scrawny Steve Rogers to the USO set piece (I'm still humming that stupid song!) to HYDRA and the Howard Hughes-esque Howard Stark, I loved it. I did see Cap twice...and I'd gladly go see it again.

A Quick Smashwords Update

The final numbers aren't in quite yet, but I wanted to take a quick second or two to talk about my Smashwords experience. Working with little publicity and relying on giving away stories for free, I "sold" more than 300 stories in the month of July. Now, "sold" isn't really the operative verb here. They count as sales on Smashwords, but I didn't make any money off those "sales."

I'm fine with that. A few people were even kind enough not to use the promotional code, which means I earned a few bucks (a few).

The Smashwords promotion concludes Sunday, but here's a look at the numbers up through the penultimate day:

Last Stand on Cyclonus Seven: 72
In Memoriam: 61
I Took Over the World for This?: 59
A Wing and a Plan: 58
The Stuntman: 52

I had set a (secret!) personal goal of 300 sales for the month under this free model. I'm pleased with the results.

I'll have the final numbers late tomorrow.

You can see my Smashwords short stories here.

Take Five with Dementius

Today's interview is with Dementius, former Baron-Count-Lord-President-Sir-Supreme Leader-Emperor (and Tsar) of the defunct United States of Dementius. Captured by the Interstellar Justice Corps, the ex-despot is detained within an IJC facility, where he's (for some reason) still allowed to wear his infamous suit of armor.

MATT: How's the food here?

DEMENTIUS: I find it decent enough. They serve pudding on Fridays. So it's Pudding Day.

MATT: You've prided yourself on being the supervillain who doesn't fall prey to the foibles of supervillainy. Yet here you sit in a maximum-security IJC facility, where you await trial. How does this make you feel?

DEMENTIUS: Insightful question. (grumbles something unintelligible) My idiotic supervillain contemporaries never had vision. Their plans were small-minded. Capture the heroes. Depower the heroes. They needed to do more. They needed to kill the heroes. So that is what I did. And it worked.

MATT: When your plan worked--and I know you expected it to work--what did you think would happen next?

DEMENTIUS: It didn't quite happen as I expected. The president of the United States was dead and Congress immediately caved in. I thought they'd fight back. I thought the other nations of the world would rally together to fight me. Instead, most of them just gave up. They surrendered to a single man and his small army of robot warriors. I did not anticipate taking control to be so easy.

MATT: I see. Take me back to the moment when you finally disposed of your arch-enemy Powerwynd. What happened?

DEMENTIUS: My Ultimation Ray expanded superpowers to uncontrollable levels. When I tracked down my bothersome foe--in addition to her powers, she was a dogged IRS agent who also went after my financials--I turned the weapon on her and watched as her powers reached uncontrollable levels. It was like a person-size nuclear explosion. Quick and satisfying.

MATT: One thing you did not anticipate was the way social media websites would shape the plight of superheroes and supervillains. What role did they play?

DEMENTIUS: Ick. Social media. Facebook. Twitter. YouTube. Turn the Ultimation Ray on me. (audible gagging sound) When my supervillain contemporaries started interrupting TV transmissions, their rants ended up on YouTube. When people started sharing those clips, The Daily Show and Talk Soup picked up those rants. They turned supervillains into jokes. Then, I discovered someone turned my image into a piece of "flair."

I set out to prove supervillains were no joking matter. It was a sweet irony when Brent Sussex--the interminable hero "Cyberclaw"--posted the location of the annual heroes meeting on Twitter. It was, for the most part, one-stop shopping. Finally, I had eliminated most of the heroes. I had finally...

(knock on the door, guard motions for me to leave)

MATT: I guess that's it. Thank you for your time.

DEMENTIUS: I'm not going anywhere.

Find out more about Dementius and his diabolical plot in "I Took Over the World for This?" available now on Smashwords and Kindle!